Undeserved Friendship

In January, I wrote this in my journal. Today, I felt like God told me to share it. 

"The Lord spoke to Moses as man speaks to a friend. The glory of the Lord's face was to much for Moses to to see face to face. The Lord speaks to me as he speaks face to face with a friend. "For," he says, "I have found favor in His sight, and He knows me by name." He will make all of His goodness pass before me, that I am able to walk in the goodness of the one true God. He calls me HIS, unstained by the world, for in His truth I am able to repel any untrue thought that may try to come up against me. Therefore, I will speak to my Jesus as if speaking to a friend, because YOU, my God, are my friend, and You think more than the world of me."

"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14

The God of the Universe was looking for something that he so desperately wanted: friendship. He creates man, he calls us HIS. He calls you and I friend. We are blameless; created in His image that He may be glorified. And then, we fell. The serpent spoke sweet, like a temptress, that we might follow him instead of the God we were created to follow. The bond between God and man is broken. The enemy is overjoyed. Man sees the truth, and no longer sees himself as beautiful; covering himself. God never meant for us to hide. His portion for us was never to feel shame. But we chose what appeared to be the loudest voice in the room, over the voice of the one who was closest. The heart of God was broken, the heart of man; lost in sin. God needed us to see His face for who He truly was, so He sends the ultimate picture of grace, in the form of a CHILD. A child who grew up just like you and me; in  a world begging us to choose to belong to it. The world gave us temptation of sin sent in all the right packaging. "It'll be fun," and "you aren't doing anything wrong" stamped all over the wrapping paper. But this child knew a false wrapping job when he saw it; and he had a job to do. He found some men, 12 to be exact, to invest in. These few would do the same to a few, then those to a few, for generations. With these men he broke bread, travelled, worshipped, prayed, LIVED. He taught through word and deed. Until one day, it was time to leave it up to his students. He came to pay a debt; one that you and I deserved to pay. But on his way to the bank, he didn't walk in fear. He lived in the present. He got every ounce of life out of his time possible, before it was his turn at the counter. It was never about him. It was always about what he could do to make life better for us. There is no one who has ever walked this earth who lived a more present, intentional life. 

So next time you are living life in anticipation or worry of your next destination, think about Jesus - a man who took advantage of every second. He was investing in people, loving on people, healing people, all on his way to the CROSS, where he would finally check our debt off of the list of "things owed," forever.

So that now, God can call us friend. So that NOW, he can have what He originially intended and what we never deserved:

friendship.

Exodus 33

With Open Arms

It never goes the way you would expect. Honestly, I’m thankful. Imagine how boring life would be if you planned it out in your cute little planner and everything happened exactly the way you wanted it to. No curveballs, no u-turns, it was set in stone. That would be too comfortable.

            I was not created to be comfortable. That is why I get restless when I stay in the same position for long periods of time, even if it is on the most comfortable piece of furniture imaginable. I was made to seek comfort in my Lord and Savior, not in my circumstances. Because even when it feels like no one else is, MY God is fighting for me. MY God whispers sweet promises to me that sound substantially louder than the enemy’s shouts. Why is that? Because God is close, and his close whispers sound like a sonic boom in comparison to the enemy’s far off scream. God has his hold on me, and he assures me that nothing will touch me. There will be no battle, because He has already won. That doesn’t mean life won’t throw me curveballs. It doesn’t mean I will be initially happy with the changes, but He promises to bring something beautiful out of that place. If He didn’t promise me something so worth fighting for, He wouldn’t have put me there to begin with.

            Sometimes I begin to believe the lie that God likes me to be comfortable. Whenever I do, there’s a shift. There’s so much more to this life than living alongside people you always feel safe around. Without challenges, there is no growth. Without growth, what is ministry? There is so much out there to see, to learn, to experience. I am not made for complacency. I am not made to just get by in this season in order to get to the next. I am made to thrive in relationship with the one who calls me His. Who promises peace and provision. Because he chose ME, a completely imperfect person, to bring his perfect message of grace to hardened hearts. He never stops working, he never stops pursuing. Every time he opens up a door in an unexpected place, even if I shut it in his face, he still comes back. He doesn’t get angry with me. He’s never disappointed. When I take the enemy’s words and hold them as truth, He begs me to turn around and see him, with open arms, waiting and ready for me to come back to him, to seek his comfort, to know his truth as THE truth.

            So today I will choose to be one who is okay with uncertainty. I will run from the one who tries to pull me from redemption, who tries to morph my changes in circumstances into something that I should be fearful of. And I will seek truth from the author and perfecter of my faith. Because His word really truly is gold, and He accepts me with open arms every single time.

Because even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for HE is with me. His rod and staff comfort me. He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies; he anoints my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
 –Psalm 23:4-6

Safe & Sound

Safe [seyf]; Adjective, saf·er, saf·est; Secure from liability to harm, injury, danger, or risk: a safe place.

This season of my life has come with a lot of adventure. Moving halfway across the country just over a year ago, traveling to Africa, working in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people, all of which came with fears and doubts. What I’ve found, however, is that in those times that I say “yes” to an adventure with God, I feel closer to him than ever before. He is my safe place, even when everything around me seems to be going haywire.

The other day I was asking God about what my safe place is. He kept giving me a picture of us in a pantry, which is confusing. At first I laughed at his humor, thinking he was saying my safe place is food. When I asked for a deeper meaning, he showed me the intricacy of my safe place with him.

In this pantry I have all that I need to survive. I have shelter; I have sustenance. This place is intimate: a place where we are close to one another. In this place I have comfort and I have someone to answer all of my questions.  I have someone to hold me close when I am fearful, and to speak any negative feelings or thoughts away. This is my safe place with my God, where he will remain with me. Because in him I am safe to be who he created me to be. I am safe to be transparent. I am safe to go to uncharted waters. I am safe in his will for my life.

Because there is no safer place to be than in the will of God.

Being in a relationship with God is truly the only time you can be two places at once. I can be in my safe place with my Father, and out of my comfort zone in the world at the same time. He tells me, “Remain in me, for I will be with you. You are safe to adventure with me. You are safe to be in unsafe places, because I am greater than any danger. So follow my lead, and I will take you on the adventure of a lifetime. I will walk alongside you, fighting off anything that may come up against you.”

He tells me, “My child, I will never stop fighting for you.” My response? “I will go to the ends of the earth with you. “ As long as I remain in my safe lil’ pantry.

             

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous man runs to it and is safe.” 

Proverbs 18:10

{A simple message} of hope restored

I love Africa. If you know me, you know that. I love it so much that I almost never stop thinking about it. This weekend was Antioch’s mission conference: World Mandate. And I walked out the doors of the Ferrell Center loving Africa even more than before. This time I walked out with a call to do something about it.

Ever since I left South Africa in June, I have wanted to be back. God continues to remind me how important it is to be present where he has called me today. At the conference, my heart hurt. It hurt for the children of Africa who have no voice. It hurt for girls who are trapped in an industry that sells them as if they are an item of clothing. It hurt for those who have no sense of hope, those who don’t know that there is a God out there fighting for them. And then I got the call.

On my 20^th birthday, God very clearly spoke a phrase over my year. He told me that this would be a year of “Hope Restored.” I was unsure of what that meant, and how I was supposed to pursue it. In typical fashion, Jesus showed me. Today. I’m not even a week into my 21^st year of life and he has already given me vision for what this year entails.

In Jeremiah 1, it says “See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms, to pluck and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.” My constant question since the day I left Cape Town has been “Jesus, when will you bring me back?” Today I realized that I’ve been asking the wrong question all along. Instead, I asked:

“Jesus, what can I do until you bring me back?”

I got my answer. “Bethany, I am calling you to fight for those who unable to fight for themselves. Some of which don’t even know they need fighting for.” Who is it he is speaking about? Children. God placed a huge burden on my heart for children who have no means of fighting for themselves, because they shouldn’t have to. I got picture after picture of little girls and boys that I met in Africa, and was reminded of how the majority of them have no one fighting for their future, no one believing for their lives, no one to give them hope. In that moment, God spoke. He said, “This will be not only a year, but a lifetime, of hope restored,” Because in Jesus, we have hope. And because of Jesus, I don’t have to physically be with my people in order to fight for them.

So I made a decision to fight for these kids in every way that I possibly can. I made a promise to God that I would believe for their lives, fight for them prayerfully, and partner with my brothers and sisters across the Atlantic in a way that goes against all things worldly.

“The nations of the earth are at your fingertips, child. Begin fighting for them, today.”

When I made the promise, God asked me a question. “Bethany, what are you willing to do? Better yet, what are you willing to give up?” I immediately got a picture of the hundreds of articles of clothing hanging in my closet. Yes, I said hundreds. That’s when I knew what God was calling me to do. He told me that he wants me to pursue a life of simplicity.

“Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” –Matthew 6:20-21

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be. That is when God rocked my world. I do not want to store up my treasure here on earth, I want to do everything I can to lay up my treasure alongside Jesus. What better way to pursue a message of hope for the people of Africa than to partner alongside them by learning to live with only the necessities?

This is what I realized:

Because I have a relationship with Jesus, I am never in want. Not only am I content, but I am overwhelmed with the goodness of God in the midst of simplicity. The people of Africa are in material poverty. Relationally, they thrive. They have joy, they have a spirit of thankfulness, they are content with what they have. The people of America are materially wealthy, but they constantly want more. They never reach full satisfaction. What would it look like for me to pursue relational fullness, and to partner with my friends who live in material poverty? What kind of message would it send? How can I best fight for those in need? By stepping into their shoes.

It is {a simple message} of hope restored.

Through this process, I will see hope restored for the nations of the world. What do I need? Jesus. Only Jesus. A simple life, a simple relationship that gives birth to hope for multiple generations. Every day, I will get rid of one material item. Every time, I will see a child’s face: children who are lost in poverty, who know no hope. Those faces have names, and I have hope. I have hope for those face’s futures, hope for their impact, for their education, for their families. And with each item, I will pray for that child. The oceans have nothing on God. Distance is only a number, because prayer REACHES. And it MATTERS.

I have hope, because I have Jesus. Only Jesus.

I am trading the American dream for a dream for the nations. And I’m pumped.

So, what does this look like practically? Today, I took an inventory of all the clothes in my closet. The numbers were actually embarrassing.

13 pairs of pants

88 nice shirts

16 jackets

22 pairs of athletic shorts

84 t-shirts

12 pairs of shorts

6 pairs of sweats/leggings

37 pairs of shoes

9 skirts

32 dresses

15 sweaters

12 scarves

Everyday, I will sell/donate one item until the end of the semester. The money I raise will be donated to help with orphan care and anti-trafficking organizations. [Still to be determined.] Through this process, I am able to remain connected to the people who stole my heart eight years ago.

I am inviting you to partner with me as I see hope restored for the next generation. Go through your closet, get rid of some excess (we all have it), and intercede for those who will come alongside and after us. Because they deserve it. 

Seasons come, seasons go. This one thing I know for sure…

I love long drives by myself. I have probably had more realizations of who God is in my little Honda civic than I’ve had at huge international conferences, youth camps and bible studies combined.

Today I was driving to a small town, about an hour and a half from my house, to pick up my little brother from football camp. As I got all settled in, my car in cruise control and Will Reagan playing softly in the background, I asked God a question. “What do you want to teach me right now?” What did God have to tell me on this little stretch of highway in the middle of nowhere?

His answer? “I want you to know, to really know, that my character doesn’t change with the seasons.”  His answer brought me into deep thought. I have believed the lie that I am in a cycle. A constant cycle of doubt that arises any time I leave a “mountain top” experience. Before I even arrived at home, I was believing a lie that I wouldn’t experience the character of God the way I had in Africa.

It really got me thinking. How do I tap into the constant character of God? How do I fight the enemy trying to pull me away from all God has from me the second I step off the plane from a mission trip?

The answer is one of the biggest revelations I’ve had in my life. Nothing. I have to do absolutely nothing. God isn’t here to change with the seasons. He isn’t here to disappoint us when the season we are in doesn’t feel like one of growth. He is here to give us a consistent well of JOY, PEACE, LOVE, GRACE, and MERCY. The great thing is, we usually need the well of who He is more so in the difficult seasons, and He promises to give us all we need and more.

On the same drive a little bit later, I was praying for a friend and God shared with me some of the most groundbreaking advice He’d ever given me.

“Don’t allow your changes in location or circumstance to convince you that there have been changes in my character.”

Just let that sink in. The easiest lie for me to believe in seasons of “dryness” and “disconnect” is that God is not as close as He once was. The truth? He’s probably even closer. Take comfort in the fact that for Him, seasons give an opportunity for him to draw close and take you under his wing. Allow him to.

P.S. Don’t let your seasons define you, let Jesus handle that  :)

This is the story of how I fell in love with Africa...

God’s timing is cool. He intricately weaves our lives together and is working so heavily in our hearts every second, but most of the time what he is doing goes unnoticed. We don’t realize the crazy path he takes us down until we’ve arrived at the end.

This is a story of how God planned for me to fall in love with Africa.

It’s January of my senior year of high school and I am in Waco, Texas. Little do I know this is where I will be spending a large chunk of my time in the future. I meet multiple different groups of people. My future roommate and her family, one of the daughters of my dad’s good friend from college and all of her roommates, a good friend from home’s older sister. All were connections that were a bit of a stretch, and all were divine interactions that God had planned before I was born. All of these people had one thing in common. A church. A community of people who know how important it is to be vulnerable, to be present, and to passionately pursue Jesus.

After 36 hours in Waco, I knew. I knew that God was calling me to attend Baylor University. I didn’t know why, but I knew who. I knew who my people were going to be. I had to be a part of this family who all want the same thing: more of Jesus.

Fast forward to the first Sunday of my freshman year. I am at Antioch Community Church and someone prophesies over me that God has huge plans for me at Baylor. That he took me halfway across the country and out of my comfort zone so that I would learn to rely fully on him, and that my home will always be my home, but this would be where I will grow into who he is creating me to be. My life would be an adventure, and to get excited. That next Wednesday I was at the college service, Dwelling Place, and heard God clearly for the first time. He told me to change my major, and to trust him. So I did, and so it began. He was after my heart, and this church was the place that he captured me again.

I quickly became involved in anything and everything, attending life group, being discipled, living in community in a way I never knew was possible. It’s now October, and they are announcing the summer impact trips at Dwelling Place. I had not intended on going on our trip, but for some reason that night, before they revealed where we were going, I turned to my friend next to me and said, “If our section is going to South Africa, I have to go.” Granted, the chances were extremely slim, seeing that there were hundreds of countries in the world, not to mention 10 different trips within the college ministry. Within the next hour, they had announced that our trip was headed to Cape Town, South Africa. I was amazed, confused, and certain that I had to go.

I was overjoyed; my parents were all for it, and I was ready to go. However, throughout the next couple months, when the details started coming together, it seemed less possible. The dates for the trip were moved to June, and I had already accepted a nannying job during that time. My parents told me I needed to honor my commitment, and the trip was put on the backburner. I submitted to what they wanted, and took my name off of the list for the trip.

That’s where God decided to step in. You see, when He gives you promises, He always fulfills them. He had told me I would be going to South Africa, and at this point I just felt that I had heard him wrong. However, in March on our spring break mission trip to Edinburgh, TX, God brought it up. He told me to bring it back up to my parents, and to ask them to pray about letting me go. And that’s what I did.

I talked to my parents, optimistic that there was a reason He told me to bring it back up. I encouraged my parents to pray about it for a week, see what God says, and to let me know. I prayed fervently for that week, believing that if I was meant to go on the trip, God had the power to change their minds. I had already gotten the tentative okay from my boss for the summer, just in case they said yes. At last the anxiously awaited phone call came, and it wasn’t the answer I expected.

When my parents told me no for the second time, I was extremely disappointed. It didn’t make sense to me why I had felt I was supposed to bring it up again only to be even more let down than the first time. But God was still working, even though I was too blind to see. It was Sunday at this point, and the next day God told me not to tell my summer job that I wasn’t going on the trip until Wednesday, I didn’t understand why, but I obeyed.

When Wednesday came, I told my boss that I was going to be able to work for her after all, and she apologized and said that she had already hired someone else. At this point I was beyond confused. Why did God have me bring this up, only to have me more disappointed and without a job?  I was having trouble seeing the big picture. My parents were angry with me because they thought I did it on purpose, and I was completely unsure of what to do.

About a week later, my parents called. They said they had thought about it a lot, and that I could go to Africa after all! It was completely unexpected; at this point I had felt defeated and unsure. I was reminded of the promises of God from when the trip was announced, and of his faithfulness to fulfill all that he speaks. I have no idea when my boss hired someone else, but I would not be at all surprised if it was in the three-day window before I told her I was free, because God is cool like that.

I eagerly raised support, excited and expectant for all that God was going to do. I could hardly believe it! After what seemed like forever, my team of 26 boarded the plane to South Africa on June 3^rd, 2013.

And then it happened; Africa stole my heart. The joy of the children who had next to nothing, the faith level of the students at University of Cape Town, the wisdom and advice from the Kennedy’s (the family planting the church in Cape Town that we got to stay with), the unique culture and God’s handiwork in the mountains and the beaches that took my breath away. I never wanted to leave, and I’m already eager to return.

The biggest thing I learned on the trip? Never underestimate what God is capable of. The bigger the faith, the bigger the miracles. I saw people come to know Jesus for the first time, I prayed for people to be healed and they were healed, I helped people hear God and experience the Holy Spirit for the first time.

I got to love people with Jesus’ heart.

I got to save people with Jesus’ story.

I got to heal people with Jesus’ name.

The truth is, none of it was me. I never had the words to say, and I never knew the right place to go. That’s the cool thing about relying on God; he’ll get you there, and after it he works, you’ll find yourself wondering what in the world just happened. When in reality, nothing in the world happened, but heaven interceded, and people were changed forever.

It wasn’t always easy. It was often times very humbling. It causes your confidence to come from a different place than you are used to. When you see God work, you grow confident in the truth and the power of the gospel.

Another huge lesson God wanted me to learn? It can happen anywhere. I can rely on God and have faith that he will work the same way in Waco, Orlando and at Pine Cove. I can live in a way that people can’t help but notice that there is something different about me.

“Recognize the power in your testimony,” he says. The things I experienced and the stories I can tell have the ability to change a person’s life. I just have to believe in faith that he does the same things on a mission trip in South Africa as he can do in a cabin of 12-year-old girls at Pine Cove or in a donut shop in Waco on a Sunday morning after church. He is unchanging, so why allow myself to believe that the mission trip ended? It hasn’t, and it never will.

When I look back at my journey with God in the past year, I am undone. Everything that I went through, every interaction and decision was God breathed. He ordained my every step, knowing that I would end up in this place. He knew that He would call me to Africa in this time, and that my heart for ministry would grow more than ever before.

Until next time, Cape Town, see you very soon. ;)

Should we change the world or something?!

Be checking here for updates on how the Lord is moving while I'm on my trip to Capetown, South Africa in June!

Please continue to pray for my team as we go through training and continue fundraising. Thankful for everyone's love, prayers and support!

Yall are the best.


From Capetown with Love (almost),
Bethany